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“taedon witztl” may refer to:
a code name for a north korean espionage project centred around planting ransomware within germany’s public transit scheduling servers.
// the enigmatic frontman of failed early 00’s dink-pop outfit “ivan the terrible” from montevideo, uruguay. the band broke up after a disaster-ridden tour though panama during which their lead xylophonist was arrested on charges of cocaine trafficking.
// this may or may not be the same individual who is credited with masterminding the successful geocities-based digital strategies and zine production employed by the macedonian literary avant garde during the 2001 conflict following the bulldozer revolution.
// it is also suspected that taedon is the moniker of an individual who was a silent partner in several short-lived startups including MIZPEE, an app for locating the nearest bathroom, WASHBOARD, a service offering to charge $27 to mail you a $20 roll of quarters once a month for laundry, and YO, a messaging app whose sole function was to text the word “yo” to a contact.
// other associations have been suggested but not verified, including a short gig smuggling contraband VHS porn in cuba in the 90s, agitation for the wallonian separatist movement, and a string of robberies in avondale corner stores in the niagara region of ontario, canada.
// in march 2011 an anonymous commenter on 4chan proposed that taedon witztl might be the real identity of the mysterious bestselling author elena ferrante but it later turned out that it was only put forward “4 tha lulz.”
// taedon witztl’s current whereabouts are unknown.